El Pollo Rey – Holy Shit

The other night I was talking with my friend John.

We were discussing politics because we wanted to see how much we should hate/judge each other. Mainly because politics has been corrupted into a terrible system built to divide us while the elites use our infighting to distract us as they push us into a feudal debt-slave state. Or something.

He, a card carrying Democrat, me, a Libertarian with a steadily declining mental state – It shouldn’t have been a nice conversation. But it was.

Because of chicken.

Glorious chicken.

Wood fire blackened, siren song singing, Tantalus tempting chicken of the gods.

He told me about El Pollo Rey, and I’d vote Democrat* just to tell him thank you.

*I’ll vote for Hillary over my cold dead body. Which is probably something she could have arranged.

Welcome to El Pollo Rey.

IMG_8721

Katie and I wanted to try it. Badly. Looking at the photos of its food online was like looking at old photos of what your body used to look like when you actually moved around all day instead of looking at Reddit and moving two words around in your “novel” all day and calling it a good day of writing.

We’ve never been in this part of KCK before but we literally could see this place from about 2 miles away thanks to the plume of smoke that heralded the deliciousness that we were about to experience.

Entering the restaurant, we knew we made a good decision. This is the first thing you’ll see.

IMG_8716

Just piles of chicken. Cooked over a real wood fire. The whole place is filled with a smell that I can only describe as campfire meat porn.

Here’s another shot. This guy if giving a look that says, “Fuck yes. Look at my chicken.” as well as “are you really taking a photo of me right now?”.

IMG_8717

This place has literally three things on the menu.

A whole chicken plate.

A half chicken plate.

And chicken wings.

And the prices?

$12

$6.50

$6

So cheap. So good. I love this place.

I ordered the whole chicken, because fuck people that only go halfway. Katie goes with the chicken wings. I also order a bottle coke because it’s how God meant coke to taste.

IMG_8718

Then the food came.

IMG_8724

Holy shit was this a lot of food. The chicken comes with a STACK of tortillas, rice, charro beans and this blended salsa.

And Katie’s?

IMG_8719

It doesn’t look like anything special, but I swear the sauce is one of the best wing sauces I’ve ever tried. No joke.

We made little tacos out of each of our plates, pulling the meat apart and mixing in the side items. You also get this plastic bag of red onions to top everything off with.

IMG_8720

But for real. Look at this chicken.

IMG_8723

You need this in your life.

And the bathrooms? Literally the only thing that’s not getting a 10 in this review. They were not bad, but they were very small and very wet.

IMG_8722

So. How would we rate it?

Taste: 10/10

Value: 10/10

Campfire Meat Porn Smell: 10/10

Bathroom: 5/10

 

Verdict? Quit your job, eat this professionally.

901 Kansas Ave, Kansas City, KS 66105

Hours

Monday 10AM–8PM
Tuesday 10AM–8PM
Wednesday 10AM–8PM
Thursday 10AM–8PM
Friday 10AM–9PM
Saturday 10AM–9PM
Sunday 10AM–7PM