Il Lazzarone – Sounds like macaroni, but with less disappointment

Pizza.

Now that I have your attention, I want to talk about some Za. Pizza is the best. Ever since ever human on the Earth tried a bite, collectively we’ve all been, “Yup. That’s my shit.” It’s awesome. It’s impossible to get wrong (ok maybe those sad square slices from middle school cafeterias). So why is it worth writing a blog post about something you already know you love?

Because of this fucking place.

IMG_7377

Hot damn.

It’s in the River Market, which is a super awesome place in Kansas City. Up until 11pm. Then it like turns into Gotham City. Only, instead of a rogues gallery of villains and gangs, it’s littered with a bunch of crusty homeless guys that yell at you for being too tall, therefore requiring more air and calories than everyone else.

Jerks.

Anyways, it’s a neat pace. Filled with really awesome places that if I had more money, would go to daily. Sidenote: It’s a life goal of mine to become a regular at a breakfast place. A place where I walk in, have my own table and everyone is all, “Oh hey Ryan. You’re the best. Here, have this free plate of bacon.” I just need to make enough side cash that Katie can’t yell at me for spending all of our money on eggs.

But I digress.

This place? This place was so good.

Like, I was eating and I got mad. How have I not known about this place? Why don’t I get emails from them instead of like, Jimmy Johns and shit?

Just look at this fucking Charcuterie platter. LOOK AT IT.

IMG_7375

Yep. I ate the shit out of it. Katie had to make a fork wall around her half. Not that it stopped me.

Most people would stop there. But not All the Yums. No. We’re champions. That is if champions were people that ate healthy at lunch so they could tell themselves that, “Hey, you deserve that second baklava.” or “Go on. You need that milkshake.”

So we ordered a pizza.

But because we’re totally health conscience people, we got the Brussels Sprout one. Which was called Bruxelles.

Oh hey…

IMG_7376

This place is a must.

It even has a cool bar. Now I just need friends that want to drink with me here while I talk endlessly about predictive programming in media and the ancient astronaut theory…

I don’t have many friends.

1F7BCFFC-4BFC-471C-8473-2DB6DE4C5E0F

So Katie, tell these fine folks your thoughts on your experience.

KATIE:

Meat. Platter. 

 

Yup. Sounds about right.

 

So how would we rate it?

RYAN:

Taste: 10/10

Value: 8/10

Decor: 8/10

Bathrooms: Totally snapped a pic. 8/10

IMG_7367

KATIE:

Taste: 9/10

Value: 8/10

Decor: 7.5/10

Bathrooms: 8/10

 

Il Lazzarone

412 Delaware St, Kansas City, MO 64105

Look at the menu here.

 

Now go forth and conquer lesser nations.

giphy-2