Times are hard.
As a country, we’re running head first into a wood-chipper, we’re more than likely entering into a proxy-fueled war with Russia and our national debt reached a number that’s higher than there is money on planet Earth. FUCKING EARTH.
So in times like these, a proper good brunch isn’t just a luxury, it’s a survival mechanism. Because what’s the point of anything if you can’t sit down with your favorite person, drink some coffee and eat tasty things while forgetting for a bliss-filled minute about all the real world shit that’s waiting for you?
Welcome to Succotash. I ate here at a weird point in my mental health.
I woke up in a weird mood on Saturday. Mainly because I’m getting more and more convinced that this is not base reality – but also because I’ve been profoundly bored with everything that is not my wife and corgi as of late. So I wanted to go to a weird-ish place and just sit, talk and enjoy some time with my wife. And Succotash? It’s pretty weird. Like, a massive oil painting of a woman with tomato soup running down her chin weird. Usually I’d already would have hated on this place big time, but I don’t. It’s strange, but I really like this place. I like how it looks. I like how it feels. And I like how it tastes.
First thing you’ll notice when you come here is that there will always be a wait. But don’t worry, they have coffee outside waiting for you. The downside? It comes in a cup designed for newborns.
The wait isn’t all that bad because they have THE BEST LINE MANAGEMENT SYSTEM EVER. You give your phone number so they’ll text you when you’re up but the best part is that you can go on the website and see how long you’ve waited and how many people are in front of you. I fucking love it.
When you get inside it’s a maelstrom of eclectic art and knickknacks. It’s pretty cool. The photos don’t do it justice.
My big complaint though is that they have two of these bullshit small 2-person round tables. We were seated at one of them. It’s VERY cramped and the fact that I’m a legal giant it was pretty rough. They are also just covered in shit that takes up a ton of your scarce table space.
It’s also mirrored so the entire time you eat your met with the reflection of your fat ass eating away your feelings. So there’s that.
Table bitching aside, this is a great place to just people watch. It’s clientele are all over the place from yuppies to homeless looking art directors and Johnson county parents to tattoo shop apprentices. It’s really cool seeing all these different types of people. And what kind of people are All the Yums? We’re somewhere between wannabe creative-class hipsters and actual tax paying young professionals. So basically we suck and you’d probably hate us.
So what did we order?
I went with the slow roasted pork hash.
It comes with two sunny side up eggs, cheddar, black beans, verde & a warm tortilla to wrap up all of the goodness.
There’s just something about black beans for breakfast that works for me. The verde was nice a light and gave everything a bright taste and a bit of bite. The pork itself was fantastic. Wish there was a bit more of it, but it had those amazing crispy edges that just taste like winning the meat lottery. Slightly salty, amazingly satisfying.
Katie went with the Favorite Breakfast Sandwich. Egg, bacon, muenster, mayo, spring greens on a ciabatta roll.
It was amazing mostly for just the ciabatta roll itself. Super soft but with that great chew that a pretzel roll usually has. Combine that with great cheese and breakfast ingredients, this thing was super tasty. Their breakfast potatoes were good, but I felt like they looked better than they tasted. Slightly under seasoned.
She also ordered a juice. Which I believe was the Ninja Sunrise – Sweet carrot, juicy orange, grapefruit, ginger & beet.
And the bathrooms? Don’t worry. I remembered this time.
It’s one of those designs where you don’t know if it’s a one at a time restroom or a “let’s get weird and watch each other” restroom. You be the judge.
How would we rate it?
People Watching: 9/10
Verdict? Come try it out. It’s pretty great.
2601 Holmes St, Kansas City, MO 64108