Town Topic – Where I plan to spend my retirement

I realize that I write a lot about breakfast on this site. It can’t be helped. Breakfast is the Alpha meal. All other meals are just buying time for when breakfast food can be eaten again.

My dream is to retire with enough money to eat at a breakfast joint everyday. Enjoying some coffee, eggs and hash browns just like Odin intended. Preferably I’d have my go-to waitress there as well that would sass the hell out of me. It’s a pretty specific scenario but I think I can make it happen. Here’s the question though – where would I go everyday for breakfast? What place would I be the “oh don’t mind him. He’s a regular. He just likes to yell about government conspiracies every now and then.” guy?

I’d go to Town Topic.

Welcome to the future retirement home of All the Yums.

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Town Topic is mostly known for it’s greasy, each bite is 7 minutes off your life expectancy, burgers. Which are fantastic. I’ve eaten about 2.5 years of them. But I prefer Town Topic for breakfast. So that’s what I’m going to write about. And frankly, you’re powerless to stop me.

So what did we order? I went with two eggs, sausage, hash browns with a side of toast.

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I got my eggs over-easy because when you get that much beautifully buttered toast it’s a damn crime not to have some yoke to dip in. The hash browns are crispy on the outside, butter-soaked on the inside and remind me of a simpler time when I could eat this kind of food without visibly seeing my man boobs grow. The sausage is good. They flatten it on the griddle so it has those great crispy bits that awful people try to take from your plate when you’re not looking.

My wife went with the breakfast sandwich.

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Oh yes.

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So cheesy. So bacon-y. So not good for you. It’s a simple sandwich – egg, cheese, bacon and the knowledge that you haven’t wasted a large portion of your life trying to master Reinhardt on Overwatch. Stand the fuck behind my shield, you scrubs.

I just really like this place a lot. It doesn’t try too hard. It just comes by that diner feel honestly without feeling like you’re at the Disney version of a classic American diner – complete with poodle-skirts, strong morals and enough room for the holy spirit when dancing.

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And the bathrooms?

Eh.

You go outside, head down these creepy stairs and then pray to Enki that you don’t get kidnapped and placed in a refurbished mine where you’re subjected to countless near-death experiences in order to learn contemporary dance. If you haven’t watched The OA, you will not understand that sentence. But I’m sticking to it.

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How would we rate it?

Environment: 7/10

Taste: 9/10

Value: 8/10

Bathrooms: 3/10

Verdict? Eat it up.

 

There’s a few locations but I like this one:

6018 Johnson Dr, Mission, KS 66202

Hours:

Thursday 7AM–3PM
Friday 7AM–3PM
Saturday 7AM–3PM
Sunday 7AM–3PM
Monday 7AM–3PM
Tuesday 7AM–3PM
Wednesday 7AM–3PM